1
00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:44,920
Why can't tha buy a conifer tree
in town like anybody else?
2
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:48,680
Have you seen the paltry things?
They look like the frames
3
00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:50,226
for small umbrellas.
4
00:00:50,227 --> 00:00:53,966
I like a tree
with a bit of character.
5
00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:59,879
They used to say me mam had character.
- Who said?
6
00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:01,280
The Rent Man, for one.
7
00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:06,959
He said she were a natural born storyteller.
It were just a gift.
8
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:11,999
It wasn't supposed to be a gift.
She was supposed to pay rent for it.
9
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:16,099
I always remember your
mam's rolled up sleeves.
10
00:01:16,100 --> 00:01:19,100
She had arms like wrestlers' legs.
11
00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:23,907
A bosom that used
to go all the way round,
12
00:01:23,931 --> 00:01:26,499
and big boots to match.
13
00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:31,499
They were me dad's. She was looking
after them till he come back.
14
00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:34,859
Wise man. He never did come back.
15
00:01:34,860 --> 00:01:38,798
It's sad though, isn't it,
to think of him wandering alone
16
00:01:38,822 --> 00:01:41,819
out there, in his stocking feet!
17
00:01:41,820 --> 00:01:47,900
Aw, no. He had another pair.
Oh? Conspicuous consumer, was he?
18
00:01:55,300 --> 00:02:00,319
Mind the needles!
Don't shake off all the needles!
19
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:03,839
Tha's giving ME the needle.
Stop complaining.
20
00:02:03,863 --> 00:02:06,339
You're not carrying any weight.
21
00:02:06,340 --> 00:02:09,419
All you have to do is point and push.
22
00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:14,357
Sounds easy, but I'm sure
that's how I once went very wrong
23
00:02:14,381 --> 00:02:16,019
in a Turkish bath.
24
00:02:16,020 --> 00:02:21,699
All right. Hold it!
Take a breather. Up the hill now.
25
00:02:21,700 --> 00:02:24,840
That's the hard bit done.
26
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:30,819
Ugh! That tastes just like
one of your drinks.
27
00:02:30,820 --> 00:02:35,960
Oh, admit it, man. She's a beauty.
A real specimen.
28
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:40,145
Eh! When he went to
the clinic, me Uncle Teddy
29
00:02:40,169 --> 00:02:42,160
used to take a specimen.
30
00:02:44,740 --> 00:02:49,280
If God intended trees
to ride bicycles...
31
00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:53,139
I think I should
go in for gardening.
32
00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:57,499
It could help enormously
with the executive stress.
33
00:02:57,500 --> 00:03:01,760
Simple manual toil!
It lightens the spirit.
34
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:09,059
♪ How many gentle flowers grow
in an English country garden?♪
35
00:03:09,060 --> 00:03:16,099
♪ Here are some I think you'll know.
Those I miss, you'll surely pardon.♪
36
00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:21,599
♪ Marigolds and buttercups,
delphiniums and hollyhocks... ♪
37
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:24,986
Oh, we were a great
little lot for singing
38
00:03:25,010 --> 00:03:27,319
at the Utterthwaite Academy.
39
00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:30,999
Kept us going when
the heating was off.
40
00:03:31,023 --> 00:03:33,439
I used to lead the choir.
41
00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:38,487
I was reputed to have something of a voice.
- What made you change it
42
00:03:38,511 --> 00:03:40,339
for the one you got now?
43
00:03:40,340 --> 00:03:43,988
We should have won the Shield,
had it not been
44
00:03:44,012 --> 00:03:46,359
for the malice of the adjudicator.
45
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:50,139
How was I to know the lady was his wife!
46
00:03:50,140 --> 00:03:56,879
♪ Come into the garden, Maud.
The black, black night is flown.♪
47
00:03:56,880 --> 00:04:03,919
♪ Come into the garden, Maud.
I'm here at the gate alone.♪
48
00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:08,400
♪ I am here - at the gate - alone. ♪
49
00:04:21,820 --> 00:04:24,680
I dare say we can find
a worthy charity for this.
50
00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:27,316
This is a worthy one. Whoops!
51
00:04:30,816 --> 00:04:35,896
Now, I see no reason why we can't
ride the rest of the way.
52
00:04:39,816 --> 00:04:44,686
I don't want you to think I'm
raising frivolous objections,
53
00:04:44,710 --> 00:04:47,055
but how am I going to steer?
54
00:04:47,056 --> 00:04:50,627
We'll all help to steer.
We just sway with our bodies
55
00:04:50,651 --> 00:04:53,055
to help us round the corners.
56
00:04:53,056 --> 00:04:56,056
It's elementary physics.
57
00:04:57,996 --> 00:05:03,035
Does it have any cones?
It's not big enough yet to have cones.
58
00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:07,055
Then I dread to think
what's just fallen off.
59
00:05:07,056 --> 00:05:10,036
Lean!
60
00:05:11,656 --> 00:05:14,695
Lean!
61
00:05:14,696 --> 00:05:17,735
Lean! No! The other way!
62
00:05:21,216 --> 00:05:25,055
I'm telling you, it's true.
63
00:05:25,056 --> 00:05:28,415
Nothing she does surprises me.
64
00:05:28,416 --> 00:05:32,415
He's besotted with her.
It'll wear off.
65
00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:36,275
Takes her on hollyday, three times a year.
66
00:05:36,276 --> 00:05:41,435
That's excessive!
Once a year is enough for anybody.
67
00:05:41,436 --> 00:05:44,556
But he took her to...
68
00:05:48,096 --> 00:05:51,155
What are you listening for?
69
00:05:51,156 --> 00:05:56,215
You're not supposed to be listening, Barry.
You're supposed to be fixing that shelf.
70
00:05:56,216 --> 00:06:02,596
I wasn't exactly listening.
My ears were pointing in that direction.
71
00:06:03,256 --> 00:06:06,236
They'll pointing in another direction,
if your not careful.
72
00:06:06,376 --> 00:06:13,016
Well, can't stand here talking all day.
I better get on with it.
73
00:06:15,916 --> 00:06:18,876
Well, as I was saying...
74
00:06:19,756 --> 00:06:24,315
As I was saying.
He took her to Majorca, Tenerife...
75
00:06:24,316 --> 00:06:29,015
It's all a bit flash.
This year it's skiing.
76
00:06:29,016 --> 00:06:32,595
Skiing?
That's very flash.
77
00:06:32,596 --> 00:06:37,415
She was telling Wendy Harper's lass,
from the hairdresser's...
78
00:06:37,416 --> 00:06:40,755
And what she spends in there!
79
00:06:40,756 --> 00:06:44,540
Its a dead give-away.
Show me an expensive hairstyle
80
00:06:44,540 --> 00:06:48,377
and I'll show you somebody who's no
better than she should be.
81
00:06:49,517 --> 00:06:53,215
I always say, tidy,
but unattractive is the
82
00:06:53,239 --> 00:06:56,937
soundest base for an
unblemished reputation.
83
00:07:00,457 --> 00:07:03,897
Got it cracked then, haven't you?
84
00:07:04,737 --> 00:07:07,417
Oh, no!
85
00:07:10,217 --> 00:07:14,320
Hello.
- What are you doing?
86
00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:16,758
The shelves...
87
00:07:21,620 --> 00:07:25,000
Don't you start.
- Don't panic, Nora!
88
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:28,958
Tha's absolutely safe
till I get my legs back.
89
00:07:30,940 --> 00:07:32,120
You all right, Barry?
90
00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:34,180
She says I was earwigging.
I wasn't earwigging!
91
00:07:34,180 --> 00:07:36,880
Ofcourse you weren't.
What did tha learn?
92
00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:40,100
Appaerentley, this year he's
taking her skiing.
93
00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:45,180
The kitchen, Barry!
Finish that other shelf.
94
00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:48,540
Who's taking whom skiing?
95
00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:53,180
Never mind that!
Whom's paying for three teas?
96
00:07:55,820 --> 00:08:00,460
Whom is.
He got my legs in this condition.
97
00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:12,765
Hang around, Luscious,
till I'm mobile again.
98
00:08:12,789 --> 00:08:14,659
Oh, get away!
99
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:19,519
You're paying, it looks like.
You've been voted in.
100
00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:22,999
Hey, you! Come on!
101
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:26,220
Stay there and behave yourself.
102
00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:32,060
Come all the way by collar, did you?
It's good for the legs.
103
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:35,857
Do you know the best
exercise for the legs?
104
00:08:35,881 --> 00:08:38,140
Extra marital relations?
105
00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:42,560
Thats the thing for straightening
your legs out!
106
00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:45,759
We were talking about skiing.
107
00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:48,085
Skiing?
- It's exhilarating.
108
00:08:48,109 --> 00:08:53,580
The nearest thing to flying!
Like living next to an airport?
109
00:08:56,900 --> 00:08:59,658
But will skiing
impress Nora Batty?
110
00:08:59,682 --> 00:09:03,580
That's not the only
reason for its popularity.
111
00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:10,119
Austria seems a long way to go
for a bit of exercise.
112
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:14,760
Austria, I can fix up skiing
a lot nearer than Austria.
113
00:09:24,438 --> 00:09:27,497
Austria? Who needs Austria?
114
00:09:27,498 --> 00:09:31,957
We've got the hills on our doorstep.
All the slopes we need.
115
00:09:31,958 --> 00:09:35,517
I'm not waiting up here till it snows.
116
00:09:35,518 --> 00:09:42,217
Nobody has to wait till it snows.
You can ski perfectly well on grass.
117
00:09:42,218 --> 00:09:47,477
Then why isn't everybody out doing it?
They will, once they see us.
118
00:09:47,478 --> 00:09:50,558
We'd better make
the best of the slopes
119
00:09:50,582 --> 00:09:53,418
while we can enjoy them,
without the crowds.
120
00:09:55,500 --> 00:10:01,059
What's tha think, Norm?
Can't be worse than peddling a pine tree.
121
00:10:01,060 --> 00:10:04,099
Gliding down the slopes!
122
00:10:04,100 --> 00:10:08,239
It's one
of Life's Great Experiences.
123
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:12,039
On a bit of plastic?
- That IS life.
124
00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:17,999
At the heart of every great experience,
is this bit of plastic.
125
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:21,560
You wait till you've tried it.
All right.
126
00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:28,495
It might be all right
for gliding, but I
127
00:10:28,519 --> 00:10:32,000
tell thee,
they're a dead loss for walking.
128
00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:36,059
It's typical. Moan! Moan! Moan!
129
00:10:36,060 --> 00:10:40,535
If he can handle the world tatties wellies,
he can manage a tray.
130
00:10:40,559 --> 00:10:42,359
YOU'RE NOT TRYING!
131
00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:48,259
Not trying! Just watch this, son,
for a touch of the Ned Kelly's.
132
00:10:48,260 --> 00:10:53,319
♪ The boy stood on the burning deck.
His legs were all a-quiver.♪
133
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:58,379
♪ He gave a cough, his leg fell off,
and floated down the river.♪
134
00:10:58,380 --> 00:11:00,327
♪ Oompah, oompah, stick it♪
135
00:11:00,351 --> 00:11:02,600
♪up your jumper. Boom, boom! ♪
136
00:11:16,940 --> 00:11:21,019
He looks like
the back end of a camel.
137
00:11:21,020 --> 00:11:26,019
That reminds me.
I must go and see him at the rates office.
138
00:11:26,020 --> 00:11:30,019
Get your feet up, you great Wally!
- I'm getting the hang of them now!
139
00:11:30,020 --> 00:11:34,699
I admit..oops...
they're not designed for walking.
140
00:11:34,700 --> 00:11:37,779
That's MY first impression.
141
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:40,463
They'll come alive
when we get on the slopes.
142
00:11:40,487 --> 00:11:43,759
Off we go.
Over the wall!
143
00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:45,635
Over the wall.
144
00:11:52,315 --> 00:11:55,396
I must say, these are real handy
for getting about on.
145
00:11:55,420 --> 00:11:58,334
Don't start moaning again.
146
00:11:58,335 --> 00:12:00,995
It's a wonder more people
don't wear trays on their feet.
147
00:12:01,295 --> 00:12:04,313
All right. If we can't do it
148
00:12:04,337 --> 00:12:07,354
one way, we'll do it another.
149
00:12:07,355 --> 00:12:12,634
Or we could give in and go home.
- Nonsense!
150
00:12:12,635 --> 00:12:15,714
That's typical.
151
00:12:15,715 --> 00:12:19,542
You spend your life
developing a philosophy, to live by,
152
00:12:19,566 --> 00:12:23,314
such as always being ready
to give in and go home,
153
00:12:23,315 --> 00:12:27,995
then somebody comes along,
and dismisses it as nonsense.
154
00:12:28,135 --> 00:12:33,134
Giving in was not in our vocabulary
at the Utterthwaite Academy.
155
00:12:33,135 --> 00:12:38,355
I was sometimes surprised
at what WAS in their vocabulary.
156
00:12:39,515 --> 00:12:43,834
Let's get some order in this.
One at a time.
157
00:12:43,835 --> 00:12:49,214
You stand over there.
- I'm in detention again, Norm.
158
00:12:49,215 --> 00:12:53,254
Cleg, you move that way, too.
159
00:12:53,255 --> 00:12:56,314
Now let's see.
160
00:12:56,315 --> 00:12:59,835
Get off! You're on me tray. Sorry.
161
00:13:01,135 --> 00:13:05,234
Let me help.
You're too close together.
162
00:13:05,235 --> 00:13:09,002
Hark who's talking..YOU'RE on me tray now.
Move the other foot.
163
00:13:09,026 --> 00:13:11,174
Can't, he's standing on it!
164
00:13:21,775 --> 00:13:26,195
What are they doing?
Ring-a-ring-a-roses?
165
00:13:30,415 --> 00:13:35,514
I hope so. 'Cos if it's anything else,
the mind boggles.
166
00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:40,134
Do you think it's illegal?
It damn well ought to be.
167
00:13:40,135 --> 00:13:44,194
You hear about witchcraft
and black magic,
168
00:13:44,195 --> 00:13:48,294
and standing in circles
performing weird ceremonies.
169
00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:54,274
Do you think that's what it is?
Do you think they're just good friends?
170
00:13:54,275 --> 00:13:58,735
Don't look at their eyes.
If you do, they've got you.
171
00:14:01,715 --> 00:14:05,109
See what you get for
trampling on people's tray's!
172
00:14:05,133 --> 00:14:09,274
We'll say we're a small
formation dancing team.
173
00:14:09,275 --> 00:14:12,654
That's practically a confession.
174
00:14:12,655 --> 00:14:16,114
You! Sit on the wall.
175
00:14:16,455 --> 00:14:20,034
- Why me?
Don't argue. Everything's calculated.
176
00:14:20,035 --> 00:14:23,414
I don't just say things off
the top of my head, you know.
177
00:14:23,438 --> 00:14:26,454
You say them out the back
of your neck, sometimes.
178
00:14:26,455 --> 00:14:27,320
Sit on the wall.
179
00:14:27,344 --> 00:14:29,963
Clegg and I are going to
help you across the wall,
180
00:14:29,987 --> 00:14:33,494
then you can help US across.
181
00:14:33,495 --> 00:14:37,363
I suppose it's better than holding hands.
If me mam's
182
00:14:37,387 --> 00:14:41,254
up there in heaven watching,
she'll turn in her grave.
183
00:14:41,795 --> 00:14:46,274
If your mam's watching in heaven,
I'll bet its only for the Rent Man.
184
00:14:46,275 --> 00:14:48,235
Wherever she is,
she'll still owe the Rent Man.
185
00:14:48,235 --> 00:14:49,932
Everybody owes the rentman!
186
00:14:50,715 --> 00:14:52,475
Glegg and I are going to take you by
187
00:14:52,475 --> 00:14:54,733
the trays and help
you over the wall.
188
00:14:54,734 --> 00:14:59,894
I never thought to see the day I'd
be taking anybody by the trays.
189
00:15:04,755 --> 00:15:07,835
Hey up, Norm.
That cap's getting a bit thin on top.
190
00:15:08,335 --> 00:15:10,595
My God, I'm going bald.
191
00:15:10,595 --> 00:15:14,115
Now, when I say "lift",
we take him by the trays,
192
00:15:14,115 --> 00:15:18,395
and help him over the wall.
- Nothing to it. Go on.
193
00:15:21,015 --> 00:15:24,615
He made a right bog of that,
didn't he?
194
00:15:28,455 --> 00:15:30,835
You great twit!
195
00:15:31,215 --> 00:15:33,994
That's it. Go on.
196
00:15:33,995 --> 00:15:35,875
Blame us!
197
00:15:49,292 --> 00:15:51,212
Why can't we stand up?
198
00:15:51,212 --> 00:15:55,671
We can't stand up, you idiot,
because of gravity.
199
00:15:55,672 --> 00:15:58,831
Translation, Norm?
200
00:15:58,832 --> 00:16:01,350
We can't stand up,
you idiot, because
201
00:16:01,374 --> 00:16:03,372
we might start
sliding down the slope.
202
00:16:03,372 --> 00:16:06,431
Ta, ever so.
- You're welcome.
203
00:16:06,432 --> 00:16:10,171
Might start sliding?
We WILL start sliding!
204
00:16:10,172 --> 00:16:13,412
These things on our feet are lethal,
high-speed instruments.
205
00:16:13,412 --> 00:16:17,812
We daren't stand up
untill we're absolutely ready to go.
206
00:16:20,912 --> 00:16:23,652
Right. This looks good.
207
00:16:24,072 --> 00:16:27,131
Now, spread out.
208
00:16:27,132 --> 00:16:30,751
Let's give ourselves
plenty of room.
209
00:16:30,752 --> 00:16:35,672
Now we raise ourselves upright,
v-e-r-y slowly.
210
00:16:38,492 --> 00:16:43,292
When we're ready,
just lean forward, and off we go.
211
00:16:46,252 --> 00:16:49,232
And off we...
212
00:16:49,712 --> 00:16:52,312
And off...
213
00:16:54,452 --> 00:17:00,052
Don't worry. All we need
is a bit steeper slope.
214
00:17:01,072 --> 00:17:04,532
Everything's been calculated.
215
00:17:13,892 --> 00:17:17,572
I don't know this place.
I've never been here before.
216
00:17:16,952 --> 00:17:21,092
Where are we?
- Alone at last.
217
00:17:29,932 --> 00:17:31,180
Really alone?
218
00:17:31,204 --> 00:17:35,052
Nobody comes up here, love.
The occasional hiker.
219
00:17:35,052 --> 00:17:38,732
And if one sees us,
what are we supposed to be doing?
220
00:17:39,332 --> 00:17:42,851
Just looking at this Stone Age
Burial Ground.
221
00:17:42,852 --> 00:17:45,911
Not exactly, but its nearley,
222
00:17:45,912 --> 00:17:48,433
its the kind of place,
we could swear we thought
223
00:17:48,457 --> 00:17:50,871
that's what it was
Stone Age Burial Ground.
224
00:17:50,872 --> 00:17:55,611
You think very deeply about things,
don't you, Howard?
225
00:17:55,612 --> 00:17:58,212
Married men do.
I've noticed this before.
226
00:17:58,212 --> 00:18:01,423
Even at times when you
least expect, you catch them
227
00:18:01,447 --> 00:18:04,592
looking as if they've
got a lot on their mind.
228
00:18:06,712 --> 00:18:10,851
What was that?
- Thats it, that's the look!
229
00:18:10,852 --> 00:18:13,352
What is it, lovey?
- I heard footsteps.
230
00:18:13,352 --> 00:18:18,212
No way up here!
You said so yourself, we are alone!
231
00:18:18,763 --> 00:18:22,512
Its just, I've got exceptional
auditory faculties for me age.
232
00:18:23,012 --> 00:18:29,412
I love it. Whatever it turns out to be,
I love it!
233
00:18:29,652 --> 00:18:32,632
Howard!
Marina!
234
00:18:33,752 --> 00:18:37,811
I can feel your heart pounding.
235
00:18:37,812 --> 00:18:41,452
Pound for pound,
I'm in reasonably good fettle.
236
00:18:41,792 --> 00:18:46,452
Really... punding!
237
00:19:46,512 --> 00:19:47,252
All right.
238
00:19:47,252 --> 00:19:51,632
We need proper skis,
and more streamlined clothes.
239
00:20:02,092 --> 00:20:05,712
It looks like,
Seymore is getting the hang of it.
240
00:20:09,392 --> 00:20:13,711
I don't think I fancy that lot.
- Me neither.
241
00:20:13,712 --> 00:20:15,740
I expect, You'd have to be REALLY
242
00:20:15,764 --> 00:20:18,620
qualified, before you
can start on that bit.
243
00:20:18,644 --> 00:20:20,272
Oh, aye.
244
00:20:28,992 --> 00:20:31,992
After you.
245
00:20:36,552 --> 00:20:41,352
Oh, heck. I'm going. I'M GOING!
246
00:21:09,852 --> 00:21:12,911
I think another cushion, Edith.
247
00:21:12,912 --> 00:21:16,931
Mind, Wesley. Don't stand
in our Seymour's light.
248
00:21:16,932 --> 00:21:21,091
Seymour's light now, is it?
I thought it were God's.
249
00:21:21,092 --> 00:21:23,811
I didn't realise He was family.
250
00:21:23,812 --> 00:21:26,970
When you're not in that shed,
251
00:21:26,994 --> 00:21:30,152
half-way up an exhaust pipe,
you're unbearable!
252
00:21:32,372 --> 00:21:35,232
Does it hurt, love?
- It's agony, Edith.
253
00:21:35,232 --> 00:21:37,609
You see, he's so brave.
254
00:21:37,610 --> 00:21:41,210
It's the public school, you know.
255
00:21:41,330 --> 00:21:47,210
Are my chaps still outside, Wesley?
They need better skis.
256
00:21:47,370 --> 00:21:54,069
I'm not making skis. - How can you refuse?
A man who's given his leg for the cause?
257
00:21:54,070 --> 00:21:57,110
I'll draw you what I need.
258
00:21:57,970 --> 00:22:01,989
I want YOU to make me
the Utterthwaite Ski.
259
00:22:01,990 --> 00:22:05,069
I'm in the middle of an engine.
260
00:22:05,070 --> 00:22:07,590
Move your great carcase
and make some sky's.
261
00:22:07,614 --> 00:22:09,370
Can't you see he's suffering!
262
00:22:09,470 --> 00:22:13,110
Oh, don't.
263
00:22:13,170 --> 00:22:16,810
Are my chaps still outside, Edith?
264
00:22:16,910 --> 00:22:22,729
They must worship him.
What it is to be a leader of men.
265
00:22:22,730 --> 00:22:27,729
I remember our Grandad was
just the same about Lord Kitchener,
266
00:22:27,730 --> 00:22:30,869
or was it Admiral Beatty?
267
00:22:30,870 --> 00:22:33,850
Can you bring my chaps in, Edith?
268
00:22:34,970 --> 00:22:39,889
What! Both of them?
The tatty one as well?
269
00:22:39,890 --> 00:22:44,310
If you'd be so kind.
All the way in?
270
00:22:45,110 --> 00:22:48,530
I have a whole list of
instructions for them.
271
00:22:48,650 --> 00:22:55,190
Not just as far as the kitchen?
- I need to see them!
272
00:22:55,270 --> 00:22:59,530
What are you grinning at?
Fetch them in!
273
00:23:18,590 --> 00:23:21,750
Come along. Let's have you.
274
00:23:28,110 --> 00:23:31,890
They're laughing.
- They're not laughing!
275
00:23:31,990 --> 00:23:36,410
It's a bit... a bit of hay fever.
276
00:23:36,530 --> 00:23:42,170
Why would they be laughing?
- Because I look like a right twit.
277
00:23:42,290 --> 00:23:46,690
Hands up those who think
he looks like a twit?
278
00:23:49,110 --> 00:23:52,909
Wear something streamlined,
he says.
279
00:23:52,910 --> 00:23:57,809
It slows your speed down,
unless your clothing is skin tight.
280
00:23:57,810 --> 00:24:01,810
Tha didn't mention a ladies corset
or elastic stockings!
281
00:24:01,950 --> 00:24:06,089
It's no longer elastic stockings
and a corset,
282
00:24:06,090 --> 00:24:10,149
it's your Downhill Racer's outfit.
283
00:24:10,150 --> 00:24:13,169
Cobblers!
284
00:24:13,170 --> 00:24:17,130
I feel like a poor man's
Danny La Rue.
285
00:24:19,250 --> 00:24:22,250
Worth every penny.
286
00:24:23,410 --> 00:24:28,169
With that outfit,
and the Utterthwaite Ski,
287
00:24:28,170 --> 00:24:32,169
you could get your name
in the papers.
288
00:24:32,170 --> 00:24:35,770
For wearing ladies corsets!
289
00:24:37,590 --> 00:24:40,570
Feast your eyes on this!
290
00:24:46,670 --> 00:24:50,749
I'm not doing it. Forget it!
Scrub it out! I'm not doing it!
291
00:24:50,750 --> 00:24:56,432
Just rub it out.
- Your public awaits!
292
00:25:02,952 --> 00:25:07,605
I'de be showing off, wouldn't I, if I did it now?
- Absolutely.
293
00:25:07,629 --> 00:25:09,172
I'll do it.
294
00:25:14,492 --> 00:25:18,571
Who invited her?
- I don't know who you mean, lovey?
295
00:25:18,572 --> 00:25:22,520
That Stone Age Sight
you're always looking for.
296
00:25:22,544 --> 00:25:24,771
I hardly know the woman.
297
00:25:24,772 --> 00:25:27,712
Hello, Howard.
298
00:25:29,772 --> 00:25:33,511
She's obviously a mistaking me
for some other Howard.
299
00:25:33,512 --> 00:25:37,092
I hope you're getting all the
calories you need from romance, Howard.
300
00:25:37,092 --> 00:25:38,447
because home cooking-wise,
301
00:25:38,471 --> 00:25:44,212
you've just started a really
miserable diet.
302
00:25:50,312 --> 00:25:55,311
Hello, Barry.
Oh! Hello, Marina.
303
00:25:55,312 --> 00:26:00,052
I swear you get
more attractive, Barry.
304
00:26:03,932 --> 00:26:06,991
Mind, I don't really
need glasses.
305
00:26:06,992 --> 00:26:10,952
It's amazing what you can do
without glasses.
306
00:26:15,352 --> 00:26:18,731
What's Barry doing, talking to her?
307
00:26:18,732 --> 00:26:24,631
I shouldn't worry.
He's not bright enough to come to any harm.
308
00:26:24,632 --> 00:26:27,292
Of all the gifts you can be born with,
309
00:26:27,292 --> 00:26:32,891
perhaps the most precious
you can hope for a man, is a low I.Q.
310
00:26:32,892 --> 00:26:36,972
I must say, I've been very lucky that respect.
311
00:26:43,072 --> 00:26:46,592
I can see what you mean.
312
00:26:49,472 --> 00:26:54,671
On the other hand,
our Seymour has a very high I.Q.
313
00:26:54,672 --> 00:26:58,691
The first time was mentioned before
he even went to school.
314
00:26:58,692 --> 00:27:02,031
Who by?
- Probably their Seymour.
315
00:27:02,032 --> 00:27:06,071
His Grandmother knew,
ignorant old woman that as she was.
316
00:27:06,072 --> 00:27:11,351
"Some day", she used to prophesy,
"that lad will go to Grammar School."
317
00:27:11,352 --> 00:27:13,171
She had the second sight.
318
00:27:13,195 --> 00:27:17,212
- Better than that, She was
on the Education Committee!
319
00:27:19,612 --> 00:27:24,591
Stop looking so worried, man.
It's just a trial run.
320
00:27:24,592 --> 00:27:27,240
You can't go too far.
You'll stop as soon
321
00:27:27,264 --> 00:27:29,911
as you get to the end
of Wesley's tow rope.
322
00:27:41,012 --> 00:27:45,512
Help! H-e-l-p!
323
00:27:57,232 --> 00:28:00,551
Aagh! Get him off. Get him off!
324
00:28:00,552 --> 00:28:05,132
Hang on, love.
I've only just got here.
325
00:28:05,182 --> 00:28:09,732
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